I've been reading Tara Janzen's books. I am absolutely in love with all the Steele Streets guys and want to be one of the girls. Like my semi-namesake Skeeter Jeanne Bang Hart. She's tough, buff and kick ass. It's been 20+ years since I spent my brief time in the Marine Corps and could qualify as any of those things. I've become the biggest, fattest couch potato. So much so that I'm embarrassed to tell people I'm a former Marine.
Can I, at far too close to fifty years old, become a kick ass woman? And if I did what would I do with it? The Marines don't want old women no matter how buff. Maybe I could become a cop but they typically don't have the kind of challenges the Steele Street gang faces and again age is a big negative. The Steele Street guys aren't answering barking dog calls, stopping drunk drivers or breaking up bar fights. They're running secret operations - spy type stuff.
So, I'm working out but have a long way to buff. I'm anxious to get some time in firing my weapons (at least I know how to do that!). But for what purpose?
Is being 50 just the ultimate indication that I have no chance of a life of intrigue, excitement and challenge? I'm so afraid that it is. Is there is no real future even if I get back in shape? God, I hate getting old.
(There Mary, something to read!)
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Romance Novels and Real Life
An acquaintance, Kathryn Caskie, who writes wonderful romance novels asked in her blog recently for her readers to share their romance a-ha moments, the moment they knew they were in love. I wrote the following.
Sadly, I don't remember an a-ha moment from when my husband and I first dated and married but after more than 18 years, I've recently had a knocked you down/oh my gosh/true epiphany “a-ha” moment. I read a lot of romances and always wondered why my hubby was never as romantic as the guys in the books. It was depressing that maybe I hadn't waited for the "perfect guy". Maybe another man would always remember my birthday, get along with my family better, know when I was sad and needed a hug without me having to ask, say the perfect thing to restore my ailing self-esteem when appropriate, etc. One day, I got the slap on the face I needed. I'm not sure where it came from and I'm not ruling out divine intervention or some similar phenomenon. I realized that those guys in the books are only perfect because we believe. The authors write them perfect and more importantly we READ them perfect. (Romance is easy on paper when real life isn't getting in the way.) The real question is why we don’t see our guys as perfect, or more perfect. Like Julia Roberts says in Pretty Woman, the bad stuff is easier to believe. It was suddenly so simple. If I changed my focus to my hubby’s best qualities, he too would look amazing. If I fawn over the things he does for me for no special reason or that he is loving, faithful, responsible, sometimes funny and always sexy, then he IS my Prince Charming. All it takes to have the man of your dreams is to define the man you have by his qualities, those you most treasure, and quit worrying about the stuff that doesn’t really matter. Subsequently, I am more in love with my hubby now than ever.
Sadly, I don't remember an a-ha moment from when my husband and I first dated and married but after more than 18 years, I've recently had a knocked you down/oh my gosh/true epiphany “a-ha” moment. I read a lot of romances and always wondered why my hubby was never as romantic as the guys in the books. It was depressing that maybe I hadn't waited for the "perfect guy". Maybe another man would always remember my birthday, get along with my family better, know when I was sad and needed a hug without me having to ask, say the perfect thing to restore my ailing self-esteem when appropriate, etc. One day, I got the slap on the face I needed. I'm not sure where it came from and I'm not ruling out divine intervention or some similar phenomenon. I realized that those guys in the books are only perfect because we believe. The authors write them perfect and more importantly we READ them perfect. (Romance is easy on paper when real life isn't getting in the way.) The real question is why we don’t see our guys as perfect, or more perfect. Like Julia Roberts says in Pretty Woman, the bad stuff is easier to believe. It was suddenly so simple. If I changed my focus to my hubby’s best qualities, he too would look amazing. If I fawn over the things he does for me for no special reason or that he is loving, faithful, responsible, sometimes funny and always sexy, then he IS my Prince Charming. All it takes to have the man of your dreams is to define the man you have by his qualities, those you most treasure, and quit worrying about the stuff that doesn’t really matter. Subsequently, I am more in love with my hubby now than ever.
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